Getting rid of that negative self-talk

April 30, 2019

A few years back I was choreographing for a global travel company, for years I spent my time surrounded by supportive friends, sharing our passion of performing all in one place - literally living our best lives & travelling the world.  These friends I hold so dear to me, they have taught me so much &

I am in awe of the journey's they all lead as we move on through different pathways ~

different pathways that seem to always lead us to similar destinations.

The times we shared created probably some of the funniest memories I have.  Amongst these people I hold very dear to me is a young lady called Beckie...her warm & infectious soul shone so bright & her words always seemed to resonate with me.  I knew from that moment we met that she would need to share her gift with the world. 

Right now she is doing just that, in taking the leap this young lady has decided to set up a wonderful blog to share her positively wise words & she has just launched her brand new podcast too. 

So our pathways have indeed crossed once again & it gives me so much pleasure to introduce to you,

the warm & comforting words of Beckie Haydon. 

  

 

We spend our days listening to our inner dialogue. It makes us react in certain ways, it makes us behave in certain ways and it makes us doubt ourselves in many situations.

A lot of the negative talk stems from our beliefs and defining moments in our lives.

Some of our defining moments can be positive and influence our choices in ways that empower us and move us forward in our lives. However, some events are going to feel negative to us; the event that “taught” you to keep your opinion to yourself, or the event where you felt you weren’t good enough… The list is so much longer than this.

These defining moments help to insert this little monster into our head that stays there throughout our adult life. The old beliefs that you are running with, and all those things that you’ve told yourself for years, and are still telling yourself now, they are part of your inner dialogue, don’t you think?.  Your inner dialogue, or what you tell yourself, is the thing, above most everything else, that determines how you act, how you feel, how you react, what you do – the quality of your life.

 

So, who’s in your head? I

s your best version of yourself in there…or is it an evil little Mini-me?

 

Let’s elaborate on your evil little Mini-me…

Your Mini-me always likes to be safe and to stay safe. It is the negative self-talk that happens in your head, and it’s nothing more than your primal brain trying to keep you “safe” by keeping you stuck in your comfort zone. Granted it’s the voice that sensibly tells you not to step out in front of a moving car, but it also wants to keep you safe from taking risks that are far less deadly: like losing weight, starting a new business, quit smoking, dealing with your money issues or healing broken old relationships.

It lives in your head. It’s nice and cosy where it is, because we, as humans, listen and feed it daily.

 

Do you believe you talk negatively to yourself a lot of the time, or perhaps think the worst out of situations or say things to yourself that are not serving you?  Things such as:

 

‘I am not capable of achieving this, or great things in my life’

‘I won’t be able to accomplish what they have accomplished’

‘I’m not lucky like the rest of them so it won’t happen to me’

‘I won’t lose the weight, I’ve tried, and it just won’t happen’

‘Let’s watch another 4 seasons of this on Netflix and do it later…’

 

Do any of these sound familiar to you?  Me too!

 

There is only one person who can change it though.  YOU!

 

YOU can choose to change this and the best way to do this is to have a clear picture of this evil Mini-me that’s in your head. All the beliefs and self-talk that you do for example, when you’re facing a new challenge or when you’re scared of something, or just feeling a little lazy, is this negative little cretin living in your head, and quite frankly that evil little mini-me is NOT going to serve you anymore.

 

So, you ask, how can I get rid of this evil little Mini-me…

If you can get in charge of what goes on in your self-talk, you will really be driving your OWN car. It is incredibly freeing and empowering. Now, it will, as most good things do, take a little time to quieten this voice – you’ve spent a lot of time nurturing it! Set your expectations to around 25-30 days of constant practice, to work towards getting it out of your house.

I want you to read and practice one of these methods, if not ALL THREE of these methods, and

together we are going to rid this evil little mini-me.

 

Your first task…

 

SHIFT YOUR FOCUS TO GRATITUDE

Unbelievably simple but so amazingly powerful.

The part of your brain that registers fear and the part of your brain that registers gratitude are exact opposites –

so it’s impossible to feel both at the same time.

If you are reverting to old, fear-based behaviour or thought patterns, interrupt that evil little Mini-me with the massive shift –

to gratitude instead.

Now let’s think – what was the last negative thought you had?

How can you change that to something you are grateful for in that area of negativity? What possible things can we find to be grateful for?

There is always a way to find something to be grateful for. It is a conscious shift and sometimes may even take some effort.

I find it hard to pull myself out of those negative thoughts, but we need to move forward with gratitude. With a little practice, you can make this your new habit!

 

TREAT IT LIKE A NAUGHTY TODDLER

When a toddler throws a tantrum, what are they really looking for: ATTENTION, and what happens if you don’t give the toddler EXACTLY what they want? They get louder, more demanding and intrusive until you pay attention to them.

So, if you have a negative belief, or an old belief that you know is no longer serving you and your life now, and that evil little Mini-me is whispering again and again and you try to ignore it, it’s only going to get louder until you deal with it somehow.

So Beckie (I hear you say), how do I do this? Well, the great news is, it’s simple:

You notice it, acknowledge it, thank it and tell it to go away. 

Then choose to replace the old, negative thought pattern with a new, POSITIVE one. Right there and then, on the spot, right in the moment. However, make sure that you make that positive thought equal or greater in terms of emotional weight than the negative. It’s got to have an emotional kick for you and feel good, for it to stick.

 

ARGUE WITH YOURSELF!!

Now this is quite a funny technique and I actually did this one at the start of this week. Make sure you’re alone or at least tell whoever is in the house that you are about to shout at yourself.

  1. I want you to picture yourself standing right in front of you, about 1 metre away. And in your best whiny, silly, stupid voice I want you to speak out loud one of your old beliefs.

  2. I now want you to switch positions and stand facing where you just were. See how it diminished you in the past and now, and, with everything you’ve got, from the bottom of your stomach YELL at your old self about how that JUST CAN’T be true and you no longer accept this as the truth.

  3. Notice how energetic you feel and that amazing emotional shift as you see the ABSURDITY of your old beliefs and that evil little Mini-me fade away. Feel the weight lift from your shoulders as you choose to believe something different.

Consciously try one of the techniques (or all three if you can) and we will see if we can battle and remove that horrible little Mini-me.

 

YOU CAN DO IT.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THAT EVIL LITTLE MINI-ME.

 

Bec

x

 

Feel free to follow Beckie's journey & share the love right here:

 

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